


Dream Of Outer Space

by buxy



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, gonna write one of these a day for a week, i live for trans boy Tyler but I'm a trans boy named Josh so, i wrote this bc it accurately describes how I'm feeling, im writing it on my phone don't hurt me, just a depressed boy trying his best!!, might be triggering!!! I don't know!!!, this is actually pretty bad, trans!josh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 05:45:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6226285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buxy/pseuds/buxy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh is just a depressed trans boy trying his best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Monday

**Author's Note:**

> been pretty down in the dumps lately so I wrote this. 
> 
> if you're transitioning pls be careful and know I am always here.

days went by and I hadn't heard from Josh. this wasn't uncommon, yet always caught me by surprise. I felt helpless, afraid to talk first, just in case it was something I did.   
I knocked on the front door of his house, his brother pulling it open and letting me in. I walked slowly down the hall, knocking quietly before entering joshs bedroom. he was laid on his bed facing the wall, the blinds pulled shut and the lights remained off. clothes littered the floor, bras, ace bandages and boxers. I picked up a bandage and examined it. small stains of dark red rimmed the edge and it seemed like it began to tear in the places Josh had wrapped too tight. his backpack leaned against his desk and was zipped shut, no surprise, he hasn't been to school in three days. I set the homework I brought on his desk and walked over to him, laying behind him and wrapping my arms around him. his black hoodie was pulled over his head, grey sweatpants and his plaid blanket wrapped around him. I gently tugged at the hood, asking if he'd be willing to take it off, which he allowed and I kissed the back of his neck, brushing his hair out of his face.   
when Josh was nonverbal, I tried to ask questions of things he was interested in. he usually lasted about three days, if he went any longer than five days his anxiety would skyrocket and he would be stuck in a rut for a lot longer, making it harder for himself to feel better. I would gradually make the questions harder to shrug or shake his head at, sometimes he would get mad at me but after a few days of not talking, he would be more open to answering. it's been almost four days.   
"have you watched much X files?" he shrugged. "what episode did you watch last?" he shrugged again. I thought for a second, smiling lightly. "scully is the guy right?" he shook his head, unphased and I frowned. "tell me about the episode." that he got angry at. his face scrunched together, his breathing got quick and he rolled over onto his stomach. "Joshie?" I rested my chin between his shoulder blades, letting my arm hang over and my fingers rub soft circles on his bicep. "you're the prettiest boy I've ever seen, Joshie." he didn't budge. "you're so important to me, ya know that?" again, nothing. "we miss you at school, me and the guys. you should come tomorrow, and if you feel uncomfortable you can sign yourself out." he shrugged, rolling over onto his back. I lifted myself up before leaning my chin on his stomach, looking up at him. I intertwined our fingers. he shook his head. "cmon, Joshie. we miss you." he shook his head again. "please talk to me, I wanna help. you're my baby boy." I pressed a kiss to his forehead. he turned his head and stared at the floor, I tracked his eyes and found him staring at a bra. "you don't have to wear that baby. what about your binder?" he shook his head. "what happened to it?" I asked concerned. he laid there silent for a while. I waited. I brushed his bangs out of his eyes. I wasn't going to rush him. he played with my fingers and looked down at them, his lips parting before he lifted his hand and pointed to his closet. I walked over to find the binder laying on the floor, used and worn out. the seems began to spread apart. "I can get you a new one, I'll order it tonight alright? just tell me the size." I insisted, sitting back on the bed. Josh shook his head. "please?" he rolled over to face the wall. I pressed a kiss to his cheek, standing and walking to his vinyl collection. I placed the Death Cab for Cutie Narrow Stairs album in the record player, turning the volume low and laying next to him. I rolled him into my chest and rubbed his back. "I love you, Joshie."   
I knew I had to do something to get him to vocalize. I knew if I let him sit in this rut he would dig himself further and never get out. his eyes were cloudy, his stare blank. it was scary to look at. I was used to him with a glow in his eyes and a bright smile. he laid still but I could tell his mind was racing. "what're you thinking about?" he shrugged, his chin quivering. "cmon baby, let it out," I held him close and kissed the top of his head. tears brimmed his eyes.


	2. Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took forever. 
> 
> I'm writing this all on my phone pls don't hurt me.

"still?" Brendon asked concerned at lunch. I nodded solemnly. "when do you think he'll be back?"  
"hopefully tomorrow. I'm gonna leave and go to his house."   
"we should all go over there," dallon spoke up from next to Brendon.   
"I dont think that's a good idea."  
"we're all of his friends. it's not just you."  
"dallon, I'm not saying that. I just know he's already overwhelmed to the point he's not talking. if we're all in his room, looking at him like we're expecting something, he's never going to get out of this slump." dallon sighed, looking down at the brown bag in front of him. "I'll keep you guys posted." Brendon nodded as I stood, walking out of the cafeteria and to the main office. I signed myself out and walked to my car. on my way to his house, I pulled through a Taco Bell, hoping this would help something.   
joshs car was the only one in the driveway as I pulled in. I opened the front door, sighing at the eerie quietness. "Joshie?!" I called, walking into his room. "Joshie, it's me." I sat on his bed and found him asleep. "Josh, wake up! it's almost noon. cmon, you gotta get up, babe." I shook him and he groaned. "I got you Taco Bell." i smiled and he rolled over. "good morning, beautiful." he seemed unphased but he couldn't hide the blush that crept up his cheeks. I kissed his forehead and grabbed the bag of food, sitting next to him and handing him a quesadilla. he unwrapped it and looked at it puzzled. he nudged me and pointed at the food in his lap. "wha?" I asked with a mouthful. he pointed again. "j, I don't know what you're trying to say, please talk to me. it's just me and you, no ones home." he sighed and continued to stare at the food as I shovled more taco into my mouth. "it's gonna get cold."   
"they didn't cut it." I stopped and put down my taco, leaning over and kissing his cheek.   
"I love you."  
"Tyler, they didn't cut it."   
"they cut it over the wrapper. I can get a knife if you'd like." he shook his head and ripped it into pieces, beginning to eat. "I'm proud of you, Joshie." he shook his head, taking a sip of tea. "is that the same tea I made yesterday?" he nodded. "j, that must be cold. do you want a fresh cup?" he shrugged.   
"water?" I nodded and walked to his kitchen, filling a cup with water and brining it back to him, setting it on his bedside table. "you should come to school tomorrow." he shook his head. "why not?"   
"I didn't do any homework." he says quietly.   
"I'll help you, baby, don't worry." Josh shrugged again. "dallon and Brendon were asking about you. they wanted to come over but I thought you'd want to be alone for a little bit." he nodded appreciatively.   
when we finished our food we laid on his bed tangled up together under the covers. "you know what's relaxing?" his eyes found mine. "a bath. what'd'ya say?" I smiled, helping him from his bed. he groaned. "I'll take it with you," I encouraged in a sing song tone. he blushed and nodded, walking into the bathroom. i turned the water on hot and poured some bubble bath in. we both striped, Josh more hesitant before I sat in the bath against the edge of the tub and helped him in next so he sat between my thighs. the bubbles engulfed us. i pushed his hair back so it wasn't in his eyes and peppered kissed up his collarbone to below his ear. "ty," he whined, smiling.   
"whaaaat?" my arms wrapped around him and I pressed my lips to his temple. "God you're so beautiful." he ducked his head low. "prettiest boy I've seen." he shook his head. "you callin me a liar?" he nodded, smiling. 

\--

I sat in English and tapped my pencil nervously. there were five minutes until class started and Josh wasn't here. I turned around to Brendon and watched as he doodled in his notebook. "Josh," he looked from my eyes to the door. I spun around to see Josh with his head down. he held a notebook at his side and sat next to me. he was quiet. his hands shook as he set them on the desk.   
"hey you," I smiled, leaning over to his desk. he gave me a quick, small smile before looking back down. he wore a grey hoodie and black jeans.   
"hey, Josh! how're you?" I sent dallon daggers and he shrunk into his desk behind Brendon. Josh shrugged.   
The walk to classes were mainly a one sided conversation but I knew he was listening. at lunch, Josh was practically glued to me. he held my hand and was quiet; I could tell he didn't want to be here.   
"aren't you gonna eat?" Pete asked from across the table. Josh gripped my hand tightly and stared at Pete like a deer in headlights. "Josh?" he stayed quiet.   
"hey, you're okay," I whispered and hugged him tightly. "but you should eat something, baby." he shook his head again. I rubbed his back and frowned. "Josh?" he looked up at me. "what're you wearing?"  
"woah, tyler, save that for the bedroom." dallon snickered. Josh began to look panicked.   
"Josh, you can tell me, what're you wearing?" he shook his head and stood from the table, shaking, and quickly walking out of the cafeteria. I sighed and followed him into the boys bathroom down the hall. he locked himself inside of a stall and sat on the floor. "josh? hey, come on out." he didn't budge. "please? I wanna take care of you. no one else is in here." after a few silent minutes, he opened the stall door, chin quivering and his eyes brimmed with tears. I wrapped my arms around him, kissing into his hair.  
"w-wanna g-o home." he stuttered, gripping my sweater.   
"do you want me to come with you?" he nodded slowly. I pulled away and brought him to the sink, dabbing a wet paper towel under his eyes and on his cheeks. he took some steady breathes before gaining courage to step out of the bathroom. my fingers tangled in his, we walked to the office and signed ourselves out.


	3. xx

Please let me know if you would he interested in me continuing this story. 

I'm sorry I abandoned you. 

it won't happen again. 

\-- Dylan.


	4. xxx

please follow gvnsupdates on twitter for updates on chapters for all my fics!! 

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is @yeahdollface don't be shy. pls motivate me to write.


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